| Happy Birthday |
[Feb. 4th, 2009|09:21 am] |
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Happy Birthday to Startide! *Sends you a bucket of fish* :) |
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| Happy Birthday |
[Jan. 20th, 2009|12:18 pm] |
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Happy Birthday to Lunar_Dragoness. Hope your day is a special one. :) |
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| Reprinted From a Trusted News Source |
[Jan. 13th, 2009|02:26 pm] |
WASHINGTON—In preparation for the traditional task of welcoming his successor to the Oval Office, outgoing president George W. Bush canceled all his appointments and press conferences Monday so he could spend the day outfitting his desk with a series of traps, gags, and hair-trigger switches. "Oh, man, is he gonna get it," the president said after rearranging the letters on his computer keyboard and supergluing the direct-line-to-the-Pentagon telephone to its base. "If the 44th president is anything like me, he'll grab this can of peanuts to snack on when he's talking to the Joint Chiefs of Staff, and when he does—bam! Right in his face!"
As one of his last official acts in office, Bush reportedly rigged the presidential drawers, chair, and ceiling fan with a number of inconveniencing though harmless devices, including Vaseline-covered pens, fishing-line trip wires, a saltshaker with the top unscrewed, a fake set of nuclear launch codes, an inflated whoopee cushion, and a drawerful of pickles. After backing slowly away from his desk, the president informed his top aides that, if he can get back from the inauguration quickly enough, he also plans to place a bag of canine excrement near the Rose Garden door and set it aflame.
"The commander in chief has successfully executed this mission with precision and decisiveness," said White House press secretary Dana Perino, speaking to reporters with large black circles around her eyes. "Unfortunately, he is not able to return to his desk for the remainder of his term due to all the thumb tacks, but he will continue to lead the nation from the Roosevelt Room."
Taking his place in a long history of executive office shenanigans that began with President Martin Van Buren's famous sneezing-in-Jackson's-coffee prank of 1837, Bush carefully drafted his personal letter to the next president on White House stationery, filled the envelope with glitter, and then used rubber cement to secure the letter to the bottom of his desk's right-hand drawer.
In what may turn out to be his greatest presidential prank, Bush also has spent the previous eight years damaging the American economy beyond repair and bogging the country down in an unwinnable war with a sovereign Middle Eastern nation. |
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| Happy Birthday to grlsctgnbad |
[Jan. 9th, 2009|12:50 pm] |
And a very special happy Birthday to grlsctgnbad. Hope all is well with you and you get to spend the day doing something special.
*Snugs and slurps your nose*
Dek |
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| The American Way... |
[Jan. 1st, 2009|02:51 pm] |
Now that the election is over
The rest of the world cannot understand how after bitter election campaigns,
American politicians can return to reality. For instance, Sarah Palin has
invited to her great state of Alaska the men who defeated her,
Barack Obama and Joe Biden.
She has provided a moose hunting trip for their enjoyment and
has hired two other prominent men to assist them.
Dick Cheney will instruct them in safe gun handling.
Ted Kennedy will drive them back to their cabins in the evening.
What a gal! That Sarah is such a sport and thinks of everything! |
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| An Atheist In The Woods... |
[Dec. 28th, 2008|02:56 pm] |
An atheist was walking through the woods.
"What majestic trees!"
"What powerful rivers!"
"What beautiful animals!"
He said to himself.
As he was walking alongside the river, he heard a rustling in the bushes behind him. He turned to look. He saw a 7-foot grizzly bear charging towards him.
He ran as fast as he could up the path. He looked over his shoulder and saw that the bear was closing in on him.
He looked over his shoulder again, and the bear was even closer. He tripped and fell on the ground. He rolled over to pick himself up but saw that the bear was right on top of him, reaching for him with his left paw and raising his right paw to strike him
At that instant the Atheist cried out, "Oh my God!"
Time Stopped.
The bear froze.
The forest was silent.
As a bright light shone upon the man, a voice came out of the sky. "You deny my existence for all these years, teach others I don't exist, and even credit creation to cosmic accident. Do you expect me to help you out of this predicament? Am I to count you as a believer?"
The atheist looked directly into the light and said, "It would be hypocritical of me to suddenly ask you to treat me as a Christian now, but perhaps you could make the BEAR a Christian?"
"Very Well," said the voice.
The light went out. The sounds of the forest resumed. And the bear dropped his right paw, brought both paws together, bowed his head & spoke:
"Lord bless this food, which I am about to receive from thy bounty through Christ our Lord, Amen." |
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| Humor... |
[Dec. 25th, 2008|10:20 pm] |
This HAS to be a BRITTISH commercial. :P
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| Holy Shit!... Litterally.... |
[Dec. 19th, 2008|09:10 pm] |
Is it just ME or can you actually see the image of Christ in the backside of this dog? O.o
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| WTF kind of TAX is THIS!??? |
[Dec. 18th, 2008|11:41 am] |
Welcome to the State of New York, where they dream up the craziest ways to try and tax the citizens. And what's even crazier is THEY GET AWAY WITH IT!
Everybody who lives here and is a smoker already knows about the outrageouse tax on a pack of cigarettes. Now we present to you the "obesity" tax. Just what is THIS tax? Well, I'll tell you. If you buy diet soda, you pay the regular price. If you buy NON diet soda, there is a tax put on it JUST because it's NOT diet. What's next? A tax on just RED meat??? |
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| (no subject) |
[Dec. 2nd, 2008|04:16 pm] |
Figures. The wolf is always bad. 0.0
 Dear Santa...
Dear Santa,
This year I've been busy!
In August I bought porn for ![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif) fizer (-10 points). In October I put money in towyncoyote's expired parking meter (14 points). In November I committed genocide... Sorry about that, ackart_the_fox (-5000 points). Last Monday firefrost and I donated clothes to the needy (11 points). Last Tuesday on a flight to LA, I stole the emergency flight information card (-40 points).
Overall, I've been naughty (-5025 points). For Christmas I deserve a lump of coal!
Sincerely,
Dekadens |
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| National security announcement |
[Dec. 2nd, 2008|09:42 am] |
Yesterday, President-elect Barack Obama and Vice President-elect Joe Biden announced key members of their national security team.
Barack and Joe have asked some of the country's most experienced leaders on national security, foreign policy, law enforcement, and military matters to come together to renew America's security and standing in the world.
Watch the video of Barack's announcement and learn about the national security team:
http://my.barackobama.com/page/content/natsecteam1/
Hillary Clinton, U.S. Senator from New York and former First Lady, will serve as Secretary of State.
Secretary Robert Gates, the current Secretary of Defense, will continue to serve in that role.
Eric Holder, former Deputy Attorney General and a former United States Attorney for the District of Columbia, will serve as Attorney General.
Janet Napolitano, Governor and former U.S. Attorney for Arizona, will serve as Secretary of the Department of Homeland Security.
Dr. Susan E. Rice, a Senior Foreign Policy Advisor to the Obama for America campaign, a Senior Fellow at the Brookings Institution, and former U.S. Assistant Secretary of State for African Affairs, will serve as Ambassador to the United Nations.
General Jim Jones, USMC (Ret), former Allied Commander, Europe, and Commander of the United States European Command, will serve as National Security Advisor.
Barack's national security team has been assembled to represent all elements of American power, diplomacy, and leadership that will be vital in overcoming the challenges of the 21st century.
Watch the video of today's press conference:
http://my.barackobama.com/securityteam
These appointees will be tasked with strengthening current alliances and forging new ones, protecting our citizens at home, defending against our enemies, and promoting our values and moral leadership throughout the world.
While the challenges they are sure to face will be great, the opportunities to unify our country and our world will be even greater. |
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| Stop the Alien Amnesty Bill... |
[Nov. 26th, 2008|01:36 pm] |
Hi All:
The Senate will attempt to pass an amnesty bill as early as possible when the new Congress convenes. Now that they have all been safely voted back into the Congress, they will attempt to pass this bill as early as possible to please their special interest masters (U.S. Chamber of Commerce and the Agriculture and Construction and other lobbies) that benefit from having millions of illegal aliens in the U.S. to use as they please, often in violation of immigration, labor, and local laws. Unscrupulous businesses pay sub standard wages to illegal aliens and take jobs from American citizens. Plus, the illegal alien population puts massive demands on state and local services (healthcare, education, law enforcement, etc.), and adversely impacts our quality of life.
The government should first concentrate on securing our borders and ALL points of entry into the U.S. to take control of entry into the country. It should also enforce existing immigration laws. Both of these initiatives will reduce the threat of terrorism in the U.S. and will act as a disincentive to aliens crossing our borders illegally.
NumbersUSA has been leading the charge against amnesty legislation. If you are interested in stopping passage of an amnesty law, you can sign up with NumberUSA and use their action phone and fax resources to let your congressional representatives know that you are against amnesty. Unless there is a strong public pushback on this issue, the Congress is bound to vote in favor of amnesty to assure that that money continues to flow in from the special interests. |
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| Of Political Interest.. |
[Nov. 25th, 2008|03:27 pm] |
IF you are interested. :P
Today and yesterday, President-elect Barack Obama announced key members of an economic team tasked with creating jobs, stabilizing the economy, and getting our country back on track.
Barack is bringing together some of the best minds in the country to make swift progress on the economic challenges we face.
Timothy F. Geithner, president and CEO of the Federal Reserve Bank of New York, will serve as Secretary of the Treasury. Lawrence H. Summers, former Secretary of the Treasury under President Clinton, will serve as Director of the National Economic Council.
Christina D. Romer will serve as Director of the Council of Economic Advisers, Melody C. Barnes will serve as Director of the Domestic Policy Council, and Heather A. Higginbottom will serve as Deputy Director of the Domestic Policy Council.
Peter Orszag, currently Director of the Congressional Budget Office, will serve as Office of Management and Budget Director, and Rob Nabors will serve as Deputy Director. |
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| This Was Fun... |
[Nov. 24th, 2008|03:41 pm] |
I couldn't resist joining in. :P
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| A Really Good Idea... |
[Nov. 21st, 2008|04:33 pm] |
When doing your Christmas cards this year, take one card and send it to this address. If we pass this on and everyone sends one card, think of how many cards these wonderful special people who have sacrificed so much would get.
When you are making out your Christmas card list this year, please include the following:
A Recovering American Soldier
c/o Walter Reed Army Medical Center
6900 Georgia Avenue,NW
Washington,D.C. 20307-5001 |
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| (no subject) |
[Nov. 14th, 2008|01:17 pm] |
Murr... 11 hours of fun. :P
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| Writer's Block: Nature Gone Wild |
[Nov. 13th, 2008|03:36 pm] |
Well... let's take the duck billed platypus. Not ONLY is it a mamal that lays eggs. It also looks like it was made up from leftover parts of other animals. But here is what I find most intresting that I bet a lOT of people do not know. It has STINGERS in it's back paws. Venomouse stingers! A sting from a platypus can be just as painful and deadly as a scorpion. 0.0 |
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| Another Meme... |
[Nov. 12th, 2008|08:29 am] |
As suggested by Bloodwolves.
If you saw ME in a police car,what would you think I got arrested for?
Answer me, then post to your own journal if you want, and see how many crimes you get accused of. |
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